Little Ass Kickers

When you’re a military family you know you’ll be faced with separation.  It just comes as a package deal. Whether the service member is gone for a couple weeks for training, boot camp or 6-12 months overseas, it’s going to happen.

But you never guess in a million years that your spouse will have to do the leaving.  That wasn't in the contract.  The service member is the one that leaves, not your rock/spouse.  They are supposed to move where you move, wait for you to return and be that tether to home.

Well not this time.

We have recently come into some great news, that my husband got accepted into law school!  It’s not a small feat, and I’m so incredibly proud of him.  We waited to really announce to everyone until after he accepted their offer (didn't know you had to do that).   After the excitement came the logistics planning. I won’t go into the nitty-gritty details, but here are some things we had to consider:

- I'm PCS'ing soon (moving) to anywhere

- Law school is 3 years long

- Money

After careful deliberation, we had to make a hard decision.  We decided we’d have the most support for him in Oklahoma where our friends and family are.  This decision didn't come lightly and it was a tough one to make.  This means he’ll be in Oklahoma for the semester and I’ll get him over the summer, some holidays and breaks.  Wow this sounds like joint custody with the state of Oklahoma!

When my husband returned from his yearlong deployment, we released this huge sigh of relief.  We thought the worst was over, patted ourselves on the backs, and said to ourselves that we’d never be apart like that again!  Even when I deploy it won't be for a year long tour.  Oh how wrong we were. 

 Already as I sit here, I’m mentally counting down the months until his first semester, feeling those anxious “there’s not enough time” feelings, and sadness.  I love my life so much more with my husband in it, and it’s hard to imagine being by myself again.

But….

It’s worth it.

Every feeling, tear, nights with an empty bed, Face Time dates, walking the dog alone…worth it. 

It’s worth it because for once, my husband gets to decide his future.  He gets to pursue a huge dream.  I can’t imagine how that feels to be working towards a passion, not just a job, but a fresh, inspirational calling.  My career in the military has definitely been calling our family’s shots for a couple years, but we have the power now to not let it hold back my husband anymore.  He’s struggled finding some way to contribute financially to our family when we move every 1-3 years.  No more.  His happiness is worth 24 out of the next 36 months apart. 

I've supported him always and it won’t change.  Is this a risk?  Absolutely.  But we've always taken risks, from day one.

* It was risky going on a blind date with a complete stranger.

* It was risky getting married while in college.

* It was risky volunteering for a yearlong deployment while your other half moves away from family/friends and starts a new job.

Yet again it is risky to do what we’re about to do, but I've come to the conclusion we’re little ass kickers.  (If you watch AMC's Walking Dead then you’re familiar with the term.)  We’re presented with risks, hard tasks that I believe would tear some people apart, but we continue to kick ass.  We have an incredibly strong marriage and such a strong partnership because of all these mountains we've climbed together.  We both will hopefully have support again from family and friends, because yet again, we'll need it. 

And together we will get through this period in our story, look back on this small chapter and smile.

Because we’re little Ass Kickers.