I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Every Man Dies, Not Every Man Really Lives

Monday morning I woke to a call from my mother. She never calls me at 6:30 a.m. unless something important happens. In turn, I always sort of dread answering her early calls. This was definitely an important phone call. My maternal great grandmother passed away that morning. She had lived the last five or so years in a nursing home, so it wasn't totally unexpected. She was a very kind, creative and crafty sort of grandmother. Every time we'd visit she would give us some crocheted piece she'd been working on. I treasure those items a little more now.

I'm not the usual case when it comes to death. I'm one of those people that gets hit late. I'm strong when I hear the news. Strong when I sit down in the church surrounded by tears and black clothing. Still strong when all the family members I haven't seen in years whisper soothing words in my ear while they hug me. It is only way later, that it becomes my turn to cry. I have never been a very emotional person.  My dad even jokes that I'm a Snow White Queen, because I appear to be cold inside. I'm not quite the Ice Queen, I do feel and express my emotions, just not for the world to see. When my Grandmother June passed, I didn't shed a tear for seven months. Then all of a sudden, I came across my collection of porcelain dolls she gave me and let go.

My dear mother is very emotional. She cries at Hallmark cards, ASPCA commercials, and of course, funerals. I have many people in my life like this and I love them all for it. Through the years, and many deaths, I've taken the unemotional stance and have learned to be there for people like my mother at distressing times such as these. I am very much a rock for people in times of emotional need. So this week, my family will head up to Nebraska to pay our respects to my dear sweet Grandmother Duncan. God rest her kind soul.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Have a Dream

The dream is this, that we will finally be happy once we finish our goals. After we find the perfect spouse, attain the perfect job, and live the perfect life we will feel complete. Then we get there, and since we’re human, we immediately start dreaming of something else. Because if this is the dream, then I'd like to wake up, now please.

At some point, maybe we have accepted the dream as a nightmare. We tell ourselves the reality is better. We convince ourselves maybe it’s better to never dream at all. But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream, or we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered. We awake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful. And if we’re lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream, is being able to dream at all.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

I Get Taxed for What!?

It's tax time and that means extra money to start the year off with! Woohoo! I got curious to see where my tax money that I didn't get back went to. Here is what I found.

A U.S. taxpayer earning the 2009 median income ($34,140) and paying $5,400 in federal income tax and FICA ponies up for the following:

Social Security             $1,040.70
Medicare      $625.51
Medicaid       $385.28
Interest on the national debt   $287.03
Combat Op in Iraq/Afghanistan $229.17
Military Personnel   $192.79
Veterans Benefits   $74.65
Federal Highways   $63.89
Health-care Research (NIH) $46.54
Foreign Aid   $46.08
Education Funding for low-income K-12 students $38.17
Military Retirement Benefits $32.60
Pell Grants for low-income college students $29.75
NASA Space Program $28.09
IRS $17.69
EPA $11.67
FBI $11.21
Head Start $10.91
Public Housing $10.50
National Parks $4.27
Drug Enforcement Administration $3.14
Amtrak $2.23
Smithsonian Museum $1.12
Funding for the arts $0.24
Salaries and benefits for members of Congress $0.19

Interesting......very interesting.