I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Sunday, March 31, 2013

Homecoming Trip Preparations

Kit is coming home in give or take 45 days! I have a house to make ready and a wonderful homecoming trip to start planning. Besides him coming home, the homecoming vacation is something we've been looking forward to for awhile. We haven't been able to travel much over the last year due to my schooling and his absence. It's been driving us both crazy!

The summer after we both graduated college, June 2011, we spontaneously booked a roundtrip flight to Paris, France. We hiked, trained and subwayed our way through Paris, Zurich, Venice and Rome. We soaked up every minute. We felt liberated, free, alive, spontaneous and just simply incredible. The best part was we only had each other to rely on, well a map and a french dictonary too. It was all we needed. From that trip on we knew we'd be back. So when deciding on where to go for our first trip as working adults, the decision wasn't hard.




Now, where to go from here? Well first it's timing this trip right...since Kit will want to start working when he comes home and his job definitely won't allow him to be gone for a couple weeks at a time...the timing has to be pretty quick. Location. Our only stipulation was that we had to be able to use our passports. We have two couples we know in Germany and a list a mile long of things to see, so that was a gimmee! Austria was my husband's pick. He said he couldn't see going to Germany without taking a quick detour to Austria. I think the lure of Hitler's old Eagles Nest is too much for him. Lastly, we've both wanted to venture out of mainland Europe and visit someplace a little different. Ireland. Someplace where my husband's red beard can truely blend in.

We both know this will be our last trip overseas for awhile. He's got potentially law school on his horizon which will cost us lots of money and he lots of time. I have educational goals that I'm trying to achieve and some new goals in the future to ready for. We know we'll be back, but just in case life distracts us a little too much...we couldn't hit Europe one last time without seeing these three last countries. Now comes the planning part. Planning hostels, trains, tours and museum times. Some people like to just wing it, but I'm a planner and I don't "wing" things if I don't have to. For one, we're traveling during prime tourism time and tickets/tours/trains book up. We don't want to miss out on an experience because we didn't plan ahead. Secondly, it makes us feel comfortable knowing we have a planned bed to sleep in every night.

As much as we're excited about this trip, I'm just grateful for the fact that I no longer will have to take my husband to the airport and leave him there. From now on we'll fly together. We'll travel together. We'll live together. Simply all I could ever want out of this life right now.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Thrice Is SO Nice

March 11, 2013 my day started early. Very early. Like 1 a.m. kind of early. I of course, was fast asleep when my phone rang. I've been trained since my husband left to wake up to calls now out of a dead sleep and answer quickly. It was my husband. He never calls this late (my time) so in my confused state I thought the worst. Out came many questions like, "Are you ok? What happened? Is everything alright?" Kit, "Yes yes everything is fine. Sorry for waking you up but I wanted you to hear this before you read it on Facebook or something. I'm coming home in May."

Ugh...what!?! My first thought was, is this real? Because I've had many dreams like this in the past. He's not due home until October and there's no way we could have lucked out this big. Think again, because we did!! He put me under strict orders of no posting anything to family or Facebook until the next day. So what does a girl do when her fellow Army wife is surely asleep with two babies...she calls her up-all-night best friend. Sorry Kit, I broke the rules...I told, but I swore her to secrecy. I had to tell someone! Who has wishes come true at 1 a.m. on a Monday morning?!! I cried, I screamed, I jumped up and down and then my mind wouldn't shut off with all the thoughts of how our extra five months together would be spent. Most men who deploy in other services know when they'll be home. The Army doesn't really play that game. They deploy their soldiers then always give the families "estimates". Well I'm grateful for whatever powers at be sent him home early!

A couple hours later I passed a job qualifying test at work, and made my way through my day with a huge grin telling everyone who would listen that my husband is coming home early!

After work I check the mail to find...a letter from Kit. Holy hell did I score big today. I know he's written letters to me, but so much time has passed I assumed they all got lost in the mail. I was pretty upset about it. I really looked forward to them, and viewed them as the only bit of romance we could still have while we were separated. I love it, it's perfect and I'll keep it forever. Our boys will tease dad and tell him how sappy and lame he his while our girls will swoon and wish for a letter of their own one day. 

Today was the best day of 2013 I've had yet....until May comes around.... :)


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Dakota Is Engaged

My baby brother popped the question on March 21, 2013 in front of me, dad, and his two best friends on the clear, white beaches of Panama City, FL. She cried, he smiled. I was so honored to witness it!












Friday, March 15, 2013

My Phases of Deployment

Like every other wife out there as soon as I heard my husband was deploying I did a little research on what to expect. My research didn't yield much of any worth. Websites offered different "phases" to expect to experience, and some were spot on. Others didn't remotely apply to me because I was either already working, had no kids or just moved to a new state. Here are the phases I personally experienced as a working, childless spouse just freshly moved to a new home without my husband.

Phase 1: Dreading his departure
- I was anxious all the time
- I overtly tried too hard to make the most out of every second together
- Questioned if I could do it alone for a year
- I'd get upset if he didn't' want to do EVERYTHING together (last chance for a year, I would say)
- We crammed in teaching me every thing he only knew how to do (cleaning guns, taxes...)
- On the last days we had friends drop by goodies for his plane ride, and that's when the random uncontrollable sobbing would hit. It's happening. We're doing this.

Phase 2: Ignore it until I can't anymore
- After he left I had 2 weeks left at our home in TX with my amazing close friends, so I ignored my feelings
- Felt relived that the "goodbye" was finally over
- I went out with my friends as usual
- I had slumber parties with my girlfriends
- I had grueling school to graduate from
- I was busy, busy, busy and pushed my husband from my mind successfully

Phase 3: I'm alone
- This hit me like a ton of bricks the night before I moved solo 1400 miles across the U.S.
- I had my first panic attack
- I cried and almost hyperventilated
- I got mad at him for leaving me at such an awful time
- I left my friends and last home I had with my husband for a new life unknown and alone

Phase 4: Detachment and withdrawal
- Finally arrived to FL, the move made it easy to become a recluse
- I stopped calling home
- Stopped texting friends as much
- I felt a lack of energy, mild depression and always tired
- I didn't go out with anyone and didn't care to
- Didn't exercise, ate junk
- Buried myself in my job

Phase 5: Emotional disorganization
- Felt numb
- Felt disorganized, old routine disrupted, new routine not established
- Overwhelmed (Figuring out I had to mow, fix our washer, do the taxes, walk the dog daily, work 10 hour days, pay the bills, clean a two-story house...list goes on)
- Cried at superbowl/subaru commercials, country songs and teared up at almost every Army uniform I'd see on base
- Went through needy nights where I needed a "goodnight" text just to rest peacefully

Phase 6: Recovery and stability
- Realized that I can do this
- Found a couple friends
- Established a routine
- Kept busy until 9pm almost every night
- Started working out again, started caring about how I looked again
- Started saying "My house, my dog, my truck" instead of "our" (which felt odd, sad and right all at the same time)

Phase 7: Anticipating his return
- Now that I've gotten word on when he'll return and I'm able to countdown the weeks instead of months
- Nervous
- Will he be different? Will I?
- Will he still like me physically?
- Excited, sometimes too much to where I can't sleep at night
- Pounding the gym hard to burn those last couple pounds off
- Cleaning like crazy so that he'll love our new home
- Planning in my head all the things I want to do together

And this is where I leave it for now. This is what I have experienced thus far in our adventure together. There are more phases I'm sure I'll experience, but until then...I leave it here. I hope if you're in this predicament that you can relate and know that each bullet statement is normal. My sweet husband had to reassure me many times that all these feelings I'd expressed to him were normal. I'd freak out and always say to him, "Is this normal??" Yes, yes it is. It's a long, emotional process that needs to be worked through, not ignored. May these next couple of months fly by!


Sunday, March 10, 2013

St Andrews, Florida and Spring Cleaning Weekend

I had the chance to venture out a bit from Panama City and visit St Andrews! It's a little community only 30 minutes away, and I went there for their famous dockside farmer's market.


I also dropped into a local coffee house. This place takes cash only, has tables for doors and displays all their baked goods for all to see. My kind of place! With chai latte in hand I took a stroll through the Oak's Park near the coast.


I also FINALLY got our guest room cleaned out, unpacked and put together. This is a room that I've had the door shut on since the mover's left in November. Out of sight out of mind right? Well I'm finally having visitors next week so I couldn't put it off any long. Now that the rest of the house is mostly unpacked this room didn't seem as daunting. Before and after!



 The three vertical bookshelves were left here when we moved in, so I saw online how to move them around to make a bench seat. Tried it and I love it! Eventually we want to paint this room a shade of grey, add a persian rug and remove the nailed in wall shelves to the left, but that is all waiting for when the husband comes home! All in all, a busy and exciting weekend!

Monday, March 4, 2013

Florida Bucket List

Since I've moved to Florida, I've had my eyes peeled for things to do in the area. Our absolute favorite thing about moving so frequently is the opportunity to take advantage of whats in your immediate area and within a day's travel. We're big fans of bucket lists. Here's ours for the time being:

1. Para-sailing

2. Get scuba dive certification

3. Sail on a sailboat

4. Deep sea fish

5. Run DisneyWorld half marathon

6. Visit GA Aquarium (largest in the world)

7. Visit Disneyworld/World of HP

8. Braves baseball game

Have you ever sat down and wrote out a list of things to experience in your area? In the next town over? This spring and summer will be prime for day trips, don't wait any longer!