I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Quarter Seems Like Eternity

It's been about 3 months since my husband left me for his year long adventure away from home. This first quarter has been hard. I feel myself turning into this person that I don't want to be. I cry at the littlest of things (song in the grocery store, commercial on TV, article in the news). I get anxiety now every time I go to the airport, whether I'm getting on the plane myself or picking someone up, it doesn't matter. I've had so many sad moments there that if effects me even when I'm not dropping him off. I toss and turn at all hours of the night. I also find myself turning to food a lot, which is a bad habit to start, so that's been a challenge as well.

I also find myself becoming bitter, and that's the last thing I want. I see on FB people bragging about dates with their husbands, holidays, and cute banter back and forth and it really makes me want to cancel my fb for the rest of this deployment. I get sad, jealous and then bitter because I know we're missing out on that. So forgive me if I slowly detach myself away from social media.

Compared to my families and friend's past deployments I expected to communicate often with my husband. Well that's not quite the case. We can't Skype  and I'll be lucky to get a phone call 2-3 times a month. I'm angry at the fact that we always seem to have to do everything the most hardest way possible. When my buddy deployment he and his gf skyped every night. When my BIL deployed they were always in constant communication.  I want that. Eh, guess it's time to learn you don't always get what you want. I knew this wasn't going to be easy...but I never thought it'd be this rough. In all the preparation materials the military gives you, it states that it's essential for the left-behind member to have a great support team. Sadly we moved away from that right before he deployed. I feel like we did everything you weren't suppose to to prepare for this. When my husband was gone all the time while we lived in TX, it was ok. I had a GREAT support system with my friends there. I also had family and friends visit often. Here, I have no friends or family and I recommend no one do what we did if you can help it. I believe if I had that physical support system that this first 3 months wouldn't have been so damn rough. Ok, enough bitching.

The good thing here is that I'm recognizing all of this and doing things about it. I will finally be home for good next week (the AF sent me away for a month), so hopefully a good solid routine will establish itself at work. I have a half marathon to train/eat well for and that is always time consuming. I also have finally made a friend here. Her husband gets in this week but I'm hoping we can still hang out and have dates. Also, I think I will start up my first garden. I'm all about saving money and eating healthy, AND with all this time on my hands it seems like a great project to start. I am a positive person. I will try to keep looking to the bright side of all things. I will keep my chin up. Luckily, I still have that light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Care Package Ideas

So you find yourself with a loved one deployed and want to send them goodies, but have no idea what to send? I'm here to help with ideas! I've sent many boxes and have a good list that I always refer to. First things first, pick up a specific APO box from your local post office because the USPS ships these specific boxes for a discount!

What to fill it with? This really depends on location, for how long and the gender of your loved one. Mine is a male in the middle east for almost a year, so his needs are pretty vast. He won't have access to a store so variety is key. I like to always send a mix of high energy snacks (bc he's very physically active in his job), toiletries, entertainment and then something special from home. Keep in mind...anything sent probably won't come home, so if you send expensive things that you'd be sad if they were damaged or lost then I probably woudn't send them.

For entertainment goodies send: magazines (no porn or graphic car magazines bc most middle eastern countries find these offensive and are banned), DVDs that are coming out while they're deployed, paperback books, crossword puzzles, letter writing supplies, or even a journal for writing down what they're going through over there

Food: cliff bars, 5 hour energy, GU, tuna foil packs, crackers, summer sausage, chewing gum, individual mustard and relish packs, beef jerky, trail mix, nuts, sunflower seeds, oatmeal, individual candy packs, MIO, coffee, gatorade chews, fiber bars, individual small cereal boxes, individual peanut butter packs...the basic idea is send things that are individually packaged.

Toiletries: Keep In Mind Travel Size items are best bc their storage room may be very limited, shampoo, toilet paper, shaving cream and razors, toothpaste, baby powder, foot powder, face wash, toilet paper (they love that), deo, Peptobismol chewable tablets, Tums, Ibprophen, wet wipes, small tissue packs, baby wipes, hand sanitzer (very helpful since they may not have access to a sink very often), pillow case, good pillow (the issued ones suck), twin sheets (usual bunk size), toothbrush, floss, q-tips, wash clothes, nail clippers, visine, alow vera gel (sunburns), small tubes of suncreen, small pair grooming scissors, flip-flops (shower shoes)

I think it's important in every box to add a little touch of home. I always write a letter and usually spritz it with a little of his favorite perfume. They love pictures and even include scotch tape so that they can tape them to their walls/bunks. Make an alphabet book on the reasons you love him, include newspaper clippings, burn them a CD of music or home videos, or even his favorite slippers.

I hope this helps!These care packages not only provide them with necessities but remind them that what they're fighting for with sweat, blood and tears doesn't go unnoticed. They need reminders of home, who they are and the people that love them.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Weight Loss January Update

So here's where I'm at now...5lbs lost so far 20 days in.


Now before you think,"Why does she need to lose anything? She's not fat?" No I'm not fat. I'm definitely overweight though. I'm 5'2 on a good day lol, so my healthy body weight needs to be between 118lbs-132lbs. I've come to these numbers via my own doctor, USAF, webMD and weight watchers. All sources say around the same conclusion. I'll post what my exact starting weight/before pictures was when I finally reach my goal! How's that for a little intrigue! My goal is 130lbs. In highschool I was very fit and maintained around 140lbs. When Kit and I lived with his parents for a year after we graduated college,  I got down to 135lbs and I looked/felt amazing. Then we moved to TX and I gained it all back plus some! I'm going to do periodic blogs about what I'm doing, how much I've lost and pictures.

These past couple weeks have been good. I'm living in a hotel room with a fridge and microwave so my meal variety is pretty scarce. In the morning I have a special k sandwhich and a piece of fiber-filled fruit (usually banana).

Mid morning I'll have a serving of natural almonds (18 almonds). For lunch I have this pasta kit, 11/2 cups of fresh raw veggies (carrots, broc and cauli) with 2 tablespoons of dip. Dip recipe: FF sour cream OR 16oz of plain greek yogurt + powered ranch packet


My daily lunch pasta
For an afternoon snack I'll have a protein + fruit, so I usually do an apple and a piece of lowfat string cheese or grapes and beef jerkey etc... Dinner I have a home made salad with fat free dressing and more veggies then I'll have a lean cuisine or BBQ sanwhich:



I track all of this via MyFitnessPal app on my phone. I'm allowed 1330 calories (based on my individual stats) before working out. Tomorrow I'm also starting another half marathon training program for a half on April 7! This is my training program that I'll be using:



Also a little added tip...only weigh in once a week. You will drive yourself crazy if you do everyday. Our bodies go through cycles constantly of water retainment, digestion, etc. I personally weigh in every Friday morning since I usually splurge on the weekends a bit. Hope this helps give you new ideas or motivation!

Sunday, January 13, 2013

I'm 25



I turned 25 years old on January 6th. As I see it, about a quarter of my life has been lived so far. Thus far, I have very little complaints.
-          - Graduated high school
-         -  Graduated college
-         -  Married to my best friend
-         -  Visited 8 countries
-         -  Built up a good savings and established in a steady budget
-          - Lived in 3 states
-         -  Commissioned into the AF as a 2Lt
-        -   Started my “Big girl job”
-          - No kids yet

Turning 25 has really got me thinking about what I want out of the next quarter of my life. Two big items stick out the most. Kids and a career I love. Kids will come when the time’s ready. My husband and I are firm believers in not rushing that chapter. We believe that it’s essential to take time at this age and point in a marriage to live life together and enjoy each other only as a husband and wife. It establishes you as a couple and really sets the tone for the rest of your lives together. We’ll know when that time comes and until then travel, save money and experience life as “newlyweds”.

The second item on the list I've been contemplating a lot lately is what I want out of a career. I’m currently an officer in the USAF and they own me until April 15, 2016. At that point in time I’ll be 28 and that’s the time that we as a family will evaluate our options and make a very big decision. We will either continue a life in the military or decide to pursue life as civilians. I've only been in the AF for 9 months and already civilian life intimidates me. There are many pros to being in the military and of course cons. Some of the pros are:
-          - Cheap healthcare for you and your family
-          - Paid rent
-         -  Discounted food, car insurance
-         -  And the BIGGY, retirement after 20 years of service

I admit it’s one helluva deal. One thing to think about is our time on earth is so short. My next 75 years will go by quicker than I’d like. I will not do something for a quarter of my life if my heart isn’t in it. It just isn’t worth my happiness and time. Luckily, I have an amazing support system. My husband has always been supportive of all my ideas and random thoughts, no matter how crazy at the time they may be.

It has always been a dream of mine to attend Physician’s Assistant school. In 10th grade, my chemistry teacher was asked by a fellow classmate, “ How do you know what to study in college?” I’ll never forget her reply. “Imagine yourself as a millionaire. You never have to work a day in your life ever again. But you’re only 18 years old. You don’t just want to sit in a mansion all day doing nothing. What would you do if money, age, timing and opportunity weren't an issue?” Well that’s when I knew I wanted to be a PA. I find the human body so fascinating, and I’d love the chance to help and heal people. The AF does have a PA program, and just within the last 6 months, have elected to allow officers to apply to the program too. The program used to only be limited to enlisted personnel.

In conclusion, turning 25 has really got my wheels spinning about what I want out of life. I know what the next 3 years has in store for me, but after that it’s up to me. It’ll be a big fork in our life as a family, but I have such great faith that we’ll make the right decision. I hope that if you’re reading this, that it makes you pause and think about the next 20-30 years of your life. What do you want out of your life? What are your goals? What makes you happy? Who makes you happy? I definitely don’t know our life plan, but I know that I’ll be happy living it with the choices we’ll make. That’s all I could ask for, to wake up every day and be in-love with my life. These next 25 years will be my favorite for sure!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Goals for 2013

It is that time of year again, where we all set goals with hope of achieving them within the next 365 days. I'm no different, so here it goes!

This year I WILL:

1. Finally become completely debt free. Since we've been married, my husband and I have been striving to attain this. With hope, cooking at home more and filling in our budget every month we should finally hit the huge goal. This will be a huge step in our marriage and really set our family up for the future :)

2. Run 26.2 miles. A full marathon. In 2011, my husband and I ran two half marathons and loved it. Last year I didn't the time to do one, but I did to a 12 mile Tough Mudder. This year I want to run a full. It's always been a goal of mine to knock it off the bucket list before we start having McBabies, so why not this year while I have the time!

3. Reach my weight loss goal. Ugh. Looking back on previous resolution posts, this one makes my list every year. Sadly, I've never reached it. I've inspired my FIL, MIL and SIL but never attained it myself. When we moved to TX in April, I was only 5lbs away. So close, but no cookie or maybe too many cookies lol. I dealt with a very hard time challenge, stress, and preparing for a deployment which all left little time or desire to want to put hours in at the gym or pounding pavement. This year I have mostly all to myself. I will focus on getting myself healthy because our families future depends on it. I know I won't feel comfortable starting the "parent" chapter of our lives if I'm not completely 100% healthy. So if that's not motivation than I don't know what is!

I have lined up a half marathon on the beach on April 7 that I start training for in mid January. I will also line up a full marathon in Sept or Oct. Also I'll use the FitnessPal app to track my calories and food I eat everyday (huge help). It's like Weight Watchers but free and instead of tracking points, it just tracks calories, fat, sodium, carbs, etc. I have 32lbs to lose. I'm the heaviest I've ever weighed, but like I typed before...I'm really motivated!

4. Start working on my Master's Degree. I earned credits towards it while I was in tech school in TX, about 15 credits worth. I need only 21 more to graduate, so I'd be stupid not to go ahead and get it. No it's not the degree I dreamed of, but it checks a box that I need to promote within my job. One day I hope to go to Physician's Assistant School and that will be a Master's Degree that I'll really be proud of!

5. Stay Positive. This one will probably be the most challenging. I need to be positive for my own mental health and my husband's. He sure doesn't want to call home every time and just listen to a depressed, crying wife. Frankly I don't even want to listen to that. These next 9 months I will keep looking to our future when we're reunited and use that as fuel to my fire of positivity. I know I'll have bad days. It's normal, and I'll cry and sulk when I need to. Those feelings do need to be experienced and let out or else I'd go crazy. Or turn in a Stepford Wife robot. I will have a positive outlook, keep looking forward to reaching our 6 more benchmarks and keep my other half's spirits lit.

Here's to 2013! May she be swift, kind and generous to us all.