End of an Era

Finally, my time in Florida is coming to an end.  My time started here in November of 2012!

I had just graduated from a very stressful and vigorous school, said goodbye to my husband as he embarked on a year long deployment overseas, and moved by myself to a new state, new job and no one I knew for hundreds of miles.  It was a rough start to say the least.

I learned so much about myself in that year alone.  I learned to depend on myself and myself alone for my happiness.  I became even more independent then what I was, and struggled to find out who I was outside of being a wife.  It was hard.  I cried a lot those first few months here.  It didn't help that the holidays were hitting me one after another, and I didn't have family visit.  Luckily though, my husband was able to stop in for a few days before heading overseas.

The next 10 months were hard.  I had very few visitors, even fewer friends in Florida to socialize with and next to no communication with my deployed spouse outside of two 30 minute phone calls a month.  He wasn't able to FaceTime, so I felt really isolated.  Despite all those feelings, I found a rhythm and poured my love into my sweet boy Zeus.  That dog got my through me worst days for sure.

Visit from Brie!

Mom!

Army Wife Retreat

Halfway benchmark flowers

Bestie Visit

Met my new niece 

Brother got ENGAGED!

Glow Paint Party, SB 2013

Fellow Army wife, my rock through all this!

Finally he came home!!! Best day ever.

Then came that unforgettable, fantastic, memorable 9 months we lived together.  Under the same roof.  Happy, in love and TOGETHER.  We lived it up.  We traveled like gypsies.  It felt like we fit a lifetime of happiness in those 9 short months.

Homecoming Trip to Ireland

Seattle!

Thanksgiving

Turkey Trot 10K

Christmas

4th Anniversary

Visited our first lighthouse

Explored a Cave!

HotLanta!

Braves Game!

NOLA!

EuroTrip with our best friends! - Barecelona

Munich!

Austria

Paris!

4th of July

Date night 

Then came that time when he had to move away from me again.  This time I was prepared.  We talked about this.  We planned for it, but it didn't make me miss him any less.  I stayed in Florida fulfilling my commitment, and he went to Oklahoma in pursuit of his.  That marked the last time we actually lived together.

That was 2014.

Fast forward through the end of his first year of law school (and another year spend a part)...and we became parents!!

We decided long before parenthood visited us that we were going down that road even though we were living separately.  I knew I could handle being a single Mother.  He believed in me, and we really wanted to start a family, despite our awful living situation.

My husband stayed with us until school started back again, and then we finally had to survive the worst goodbye we've ever had to do.  He left us in Florida to start his second year of law school.  We knew it was coming, but again it didn't lessen the blow.

Fast forward to present day.  I've raised this beautiful, out going, loud, vivacious little girl on my own for 7 months with no family or friends to help out.  I work 40 hours a week.  I'm a part time student taking two online classes.  I juggled being a new Mother, Air Force Officer, part time student and a wife for 7 months. On. My. Own.

And I killed it.

I feel like fucking Super Woman.

This unique last 7 months has been exhausting, scary, rewarding, beautiful and freeing.  If I wasn't independent enough as it was, now it's just downright scary.  I know I can stand on my own.  I know now I don't need anyone for me to live a fulfilling life.  I can make my own money.  I can have a successful career and job on my own.  I can raise a child by myself and be all that she needs.  I can continue my education, and continue to reach higher and higher for goals.  I can do all of this and more on my own.  I've never felt so strong and empowered before in my life.

My husband and I knew this would be a challenge for me, but I stepped up to the plate.  I'm so proud of what we've accomplished.  I'm so proud of Norah, and all the milestones she continues to blow past despite only having one parent in her life.  I'm so proud of my husband, and the strength he's had to keep at his goal of finishing law school despite missing out on almost the first year of his first baby's life.  I'm proud of myself for financially supporting my family by working full time, continuing my education, getting accepted into a prestigious nursing program and raising our baby by myself.

It's amazing what we're capable of when we just put our heads down and grind.

Raising Norah for these last 7 months alone has really been just insane.  I have mixed emotions about it all.  On one hand it was hard.  I hated not having time to myself, breaks on the weekends, someone to take the midnight play dates or someone to help with errands, laundry, cleaning, dr appts, etc.  On the other hand I had Norah June ALL to myself.  I'm her person.  Watch me walk into a room with her, and you can see the love all over Norah's face.  This little girl LOVES me to the moon and back, and of course the feeling is mutual.

I'm the keeper of her first year (almost) of milestones, memories, sick days, good days, long nights, countless firsts, nap time snuggles, holidays, and so much more.  I and I alone have witnessed everyday this little 7lb blob blossom into the amazing 20 + lb Norah before me today.  It's both heartbreaking and heartwarming.

I look back and hope I wrote enough down for my husband.  I hope I took enough pictures for him.  I hope he feels connected to her life as I have.  I'll treasure this special Mother/Daughter time we've had and look back on it with great fondness.  It was a crazy ride, but I'd do it 1,000 times over.  I'll never get this type of time with any of my other kids, or with Norah again.  I'm both relieved and a little sad.  Can't win for losing!

Finally, all our hard work is paying off.  For the first time since 2012, my husband and I are finally moving in with each other permanently.  No more FaceTime dates.  No more nightly phone calls.  No more missed holidays.  No more dreaded countdowns until the next time we'll be reunited.  No more airport teary eyed goodbyes.  We've earned this, and we couldn't be more excited.

We're anxious, excited, scared and nervous, but most of all we're happy.  We have SO much to look forward to with a new lift to start as a family finally.  Norah gets a Dad in her life.  I get my best friend/husband back.  Life can't get better than this.  It's been a lonely, beautiful ride Florida, but it's goodbye for now.

Let the adventures as a new family begin!