The D Word

Denial. Devotion. Devastation. Delighted. Dejected. Delectation. Divorce.

There are many "D" words used throughout relationships. Only 5% of families experience this particular beast...

Deployment.

We went into life together expecting it. Knowing it would come. It doesn't soften the blow. My husband approached me around this time last year with news that his unit that he was currently in the process of leaving, was officially tasked with a deployment. He said he wanted to extend his commitment for a year so that he has the chance to go one last time, and asked me what I thought. I never hesitated.

 Go. Go. Go. I want him to have this chance with every bone in my body.

My friends/family ask me, "Why does he want to be gone for a year? Why did you let him?" One, I don't dictate what my husband does. We are one, and we talk everything to death. We made this decision together. Will I miss him? No doubt. Do I ask everyday if his deployment has been called off with hope? You bet. But I know it has to be this way and it's out of my control. Two, he doesn't want to be away from me for a year. He does want something else more. I told my husband how people we love don't understand, so about 2 months later he showed me something. He said, "When people ask you, and they don't understand why. Show them this."

"Combat isn't where you might die - though that does happen - it's where you find out whether you get to keep living. Don't underestimate the power of that revelation. Don't underestimate the things young men will wager in order to play that game one more time."

My husband has worked many jobs. He's met many people. He's never experienced anything like what he gets from the US Army. He loves those men. Especially one in particular that he couldn't bear the thought of going into war without him. I feel like this person was the determining factor, who joined because of him. He wanted to be there to show him the ropes and have his back for a year. Even though my husband is only a Staff Sergeant and won't have many men under him in command....doesn't mean a damn thing. He's a leader and takes care of his people through and through. He's told me many times, "There's no way I'm letting them go over there without me. No way." I admire him, and honestly want to be just like him when I finally get the chance to lead.

Speaking from personal experience, you just can't get that comradery feeling from any other profession than from the military. You become a family. Hell in most cases you see these men and women more hours out of a week then your actual family. You create bonds, go through the "storming" phase, then solidify those relationships that last.

It was never lost on me why he has to go back. I love him and I will miss him so much while he's gone. Thankfully, I'm pretty independent and self-reliant. I feel like emotional wise, I was built for this. It will be particularly hard over the holidays, but hopefully there will be enough distractions to keep my head up. We will conquer this and come out so much stronger in the end. Everyone will come home safe. Life will pick up where it left off, and be nothing but amazing :)