Thoughts on Separation

Written by: Kristopher McVay

As I completed the final days of my Army career I wanted to share some thoughts.  First and foremost, I want to thank my parents and brother for their love and support over the last nine years.  It must have been extremely difficult for Mom and Dad to give their blessing for me to join the military with our country at war that night in September 2004 when I asked to sign up at before I turned 18.  They both grew up in the Vietnam era and fully understood the potential consequences of my decision, even if I didn’t.  It was also difficult for them to say goodbye when I left for basic training, not knowing when I would get to talk or write to them again.  And I will never fully understand how difficult it was when the first 4 months I spent in Iraq were during a period when 70% of U.S. casualties occurred in the region where my company worked.   It must have been excruciating to see the constant Department of Defense press releases wondering if they were the next of kin waiting to be notified of a loss.  What I remember from that time is the weekly care packages that they sent and how positive they always were during the rare times I had a chance to call home.  And of course I will always be thankful for my Dad’s surprise visit at the “Green Ramp” when we finally arrived at Ft. Bragg.  Also included in this group are two of my best friends, Brie and Wes, who are really just an extension of my family, and were there for me from the beginning.  They were never short on emotional support and could always provide levity exactly when I needed it. 

Secondly, I would not have been the Soldier I was without great mentors and leaders.  Men like Morgan Ashworth and Charlie Smith who showed me what true leadership meant in the face of extreme danger and adversity.  And men like Paul Gonzalez and Ben Sledge who pushed me to be a better man, in and out of uniform.  I want to be a leader like Greg Shanahan, Chris Camper, or Stuart Barnes who always put the needs of their troops above their own and never let career aspirations get in the way of leadership.  I’m also extremely thankful for the lifelong friendships that were a product of my Army service.  The loyalty and dedication of my peers in Alpha and Bravo Companies are qualities that I will appreciate forever. 

Finally, I cannot easily express how much it means to have the unfailing love of a strong, beautiful, and caring Army wife.  She fully supported my decision to rejoin Alpha Company for our tour in Afghanistan knowing how much it meant to me to be able to serve one more time.  It must have been extremely difficult to ship me off to a combat zone and then move halfway across the country by herself only days later.  Throughout the loneliness of a new town and new job; throughout the uncertainty of my first few weeks in country; throughout minimal connectivity and communication; throughout the turmoil of extensions and the pain of half my company coming home early while I stayed on; throughout all of the difficult times and pitfalls that come with being a spouse of a deployed service member she stayed positive and supportive, and I count seeing her at the airport for the first time in nine long months as one of the greatest moments of my life.   

The next phase of our life finds us on the verge of separation again as I begin law school.  Undoubtedly, the experiences of the last few years and the friends we’ve made along the way will serve us in much the same as they have in the past:  to give us the strength, support, and love that we need to strive in this crazy life we have chosen.  

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Home on mid tour leave 2007

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Promoted to SSG in 2010

Dining Out March 2011

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